A Mix of Scrap

My place for random musings.

353 notes

blairsings:

fullcredit:

You better listen up, J.Crew. 
You better shut the hell up and listen to what I’m about to say. 
What in the FUCK are these pants? No, seriously, I’m asking you a question. WHAT. In the FUCK. Are those PANTS. Are they leggings? Are they sweatpants? Are they only meant to be worn indoors? If so, fine. But if the answer to any of those questions is “no,” then you have got some SERIOUS FUCKING EXPLAINING TO DO. Because those pants make the model, whose ass is likely 1/1000000th the size of mine, look like she is wearing a goddamn diaper. A DIAPER, J.CREW. Do you hear what I am saying? YOU ARE MAKING CLOTHES THAT GIVE THE ILLUSION THAT THE WEARER IS INCONTINENT AND THEREFORE HAS TO WEAR DEPENDS. 
And also? Who on god’s green fucking earth would wear those with heels? HEELS!? If someone is going to wear a pair of pants that makes even A MODEL’S LEGS look like motherfucking drumsticks from KFC, then they SURE AS SHIT are not going to be wearing them with goddamn heels. They are going to be wearing them with flip flops from 2002 that they picked up for free when they left a fraternity house on a Saturday morning in college, or maybe, JUST MAYBE, that they purchased at Old Navy for $1.99 AT THE VERY MOST, and these flip flops are NOT going to be doing any favors to their backside, but that is going to be okay with them because IF YOU ARE WEARING THESE PANTS YOU HAVE GIVEN UP ON YOUR ASS. 
We used to be friends, J.Crew. We used to have really great times together. I used to peruse your sale section and find things that I actually wanted to purchase and bring into my home at a modest discount. Now I flip through your sale pages and see nothing but a bunch of oversized costume jewelry too gauche for a Liza Minnelli drag queen impersonator, NINE THOUSAND VERSIONS of the exact same striped shirt, and two pairs of grey windsocks that you took off of a car at a tailgate, sewed together, and decided to market as “pants.” But these are not pants, J.Crew. These are an EMBARRASSMENT. Get back to your ballet flats and your perfect fit Ts and your skirt suits and let’s just CALL IT A MOTHERFUCKING DAY. 

This is hilarious and so true. I think the icing on the cake is that these “pants” are probably 70 dollars.

This is the funniest freaking thing EVER.

blairsings:

fullcredit:

You better listen up, J.Crew. 

You better shut the hell up and listen to what I’m about to say. 

What in the FUCK are these pants? No, seriously, I’m asking you a question. WHAT. In the FUCK. Are those PANTS. Are they leggings? Are they sweatpants? Are they only meant to be worn indoors? If so, fine. But if the answer to any of those questions is “no,” then you have got some SERIOUS FUCKING EXPLAINING TO DO. Because those pants make the model, whose ass is likely 1/1000000th the size of mine, look like she is wearing a goddamn diaper. A DIAPER, J.CREW. Do you hear what I am saying? YOU ARE MAKING CLOTHES THAT GIVE THE ILLUSION THAT THE WEARER IS INCONTINENT AND THEREFORE HAS TO WEAR DEPENDS. 

And also? Who on god’s green fucking earth would wear those with heels? HEELS!? If someone is going to wear a pair of pants that makes even A MODEL’S LEGS look like motherfucking drumsticks from KFC, then they SURE AS SHIT are not going to be wearing them with goddamn heels. They are going to be wearing them with flip flops from 2002 that they picked up for free when they left a fraternity house on a Saturday morning in college, or maybe, JUST MAYBE, that they purchased at Old Navy for $1.99 AT THE VERY MOST, and these flip flops are NOT going to be doing any favors to their backside, but that is going to be okay with them because IF YOU ARE WEARING THESE PANTS YOU HAVE GIVEN UP ON YOUR ASS. 

We used to be friends, J.Crew. We used to have really great times together. I used to peruse your sale section and find things that I actually wanted to purchase and bring into my home at a modest discount. Now I flip through your sale pages and see nothing but a bunch of oversized costume jewelry too gauche for a Liza Minnelli drag queen impersonator, NINE THOUSAND VERSIONS of the exact same striped shirt, and two pairs of grey windsocks that you took off of a car at a tailgate, sewed together, and decided to market as “pants.” But these are not pants, J.Crew. These are an EMBARRASSMENT. Get back to your ballet flats and your perfect fit Ts and your skirt suits and let’s just CALL IT A MOTHERFUCKING DAY. 

This is hilarious and so true. I think the icing on the cake is that these “pants” are probably 70 dollars.

This is the funniest freaking thing EVER.

  1. classyfied reblogged this from fullcredit
  2. jeanette-tea reblogged this from glitterandshade and added:
    It’s like her backside is her front side, unintentionally. Fullcredit did a fine ass job debating the injustice of the...
  3. antwan-mccullick reblogged this from sarahb
  4. xoaaxo reblogged this from fullcredit
  5. thiscouldgetgood reblogged this from fullcredit and added:
    To Molly. Because I know you will die when you read this.
  6. keepme reblogged this from streetsophisticato and added:
    Word. I would look fly in those pants. With heels. I love when people apply stringent rules to fashion. I love it even...
  7. madein77 reblogged this from fullcredit
  8. streetsophisticato reblogged this from sonraefar and added:
    You can’t blame J Crew because you probably tried on these (or a similar pair) pants before and looked awful in the...
  9. isiawashere reblogged this from fullcredit and added:
    A hilarious find. (via Grace DuVal)
  10. moseyposey27 reblogged this from kiss-distinctly-american
  11. sonraefar reblogged this from fullcredit
  12. iiori reblogged this from twistedmindlonelyheart
  13. hummingbird-knowledge reblogged this from live-to-the-point-of-tears and added:
    been following this person until
  14. live-to-the-point-of-tears reblogged this from fullcredit and added:
    You better listen up, J.Crew. You better shut the hell up and listen to what I’m about to say. What in the FUCK are...
  15. forthewynne reblogged this from blairsings
  16. charlottefemke reblogged this from blairsings
  17. floralandflourishing reblogged this from blairsings
  18. cswerb reblogged this from blairsings and added:
    This is the funniest freaking thing EVER.
  19. erincarlson reblogged this from fullcredit
  20. anthonycloskey reblogged this from fullcredit
  21. fullcredit posted this